About Me...

I am once again thinking out of my comfort zone and it is scary! It is much easier for me to write down my life stories with pen and paper however I gave that up years ago and have regretted not keeping up my journal ever since. Make no mistake ( not that you were going to)I must let you know that, I am not a writer. I was that little girl in elementary, yea the one that everyone looked at because I had so many circles and marks on my paper that you couldn't even tell what I had originally wrote. There was a reason I didn't like Miss White and she didn't like me, but even more I hated her red marker that she used to scribble all those corrections on my paper with. However that's another story yet to tell. But I do have lasting memories of that old battleax telling me that my sentences were way to long, used commas in all the wrong places and used too many exclamation marks!!!! I felt what I had to say was exciting and through the years have continued to use too many !!!!!!'s...and, commas in, all the wrong, places. I'm also not so good about proof reading my work before I submit it. You see it scares me because I have written huge stories before and when I pushed the send button, it goes somewhere never to be found and then I am forced into saying a swear word and I don't have the desire to rewrite it again!!! I guess Miss White was right about the long sentences. They say to place a comma where you would pause while saying a sentence but, since I don't pause much while talking I don't really know where to place the comma. Well anyways, I needed something to do in my spare time so I figured I would give this a try! Good luck everyone especially you Miss White wherever you are!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Menopause or skipping rope?

Last night while at a family party, I was talking to my sister-in law and my two nieces. Their first mistake was that they asked me how my daughter Kylee was doing in China. Their second mistake was to not run away before I went into my lengthy story! They should have escaped while they had the chance but they didn't so they became my victims of the night. You see, they are very nice people. The kind that don't roll their eyes when you are not looking or tap each other secretively ( we all know that that means "You run first and I will follow!" ) I know these signals, I have used them many times before. It's easiest when you are sitting at a table because then you can tap your spouse under the table and they automatically know it means (rap it up). I must admit there are times that I can't tap my husband making him aware that it's time to go because....he is the one telling the very, very long story! Then because I am not interested in the topic, my mind begins to wander and the ADD sets in. P.S. I have never been diagnosed with that except from my own self diagnosis.
Anyways, while we were gabbing about China, I began to sweat like a stuck pig! I have noticed that I never sweat from under the arms like normal people, instead it flows off my face like a waterfall for everyone to see. If you close your eyes it can be quite relaxing just listening to the water trickeling off my nose and chins.I tried to casually wipe it from my face but at one point I could no longer keep up with the flow. Because they are the nice family that they are, they don't say a thing or even lead on that they notice, but of course someone else DID! ( Enter from side stage left) is my eternal companion.. "What the crap Jen, why are you sweating so bad?" I believe were the words said. Does he not know that if I knew why I was sweating so bad I would fix it! I told him I had been jumping rope ( we all new that was a lie). I said It's called premenopause! Obviously something he will never have to deal with. Needless to say, getting old is sucky and anyone that claims the 40's are the best years of their life are LYING straight to your face!!!!!

3 comments:

  1. You need some before and after pictures of the waterworks, or just some pictures period.

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  2. Ha ha I can totally see Wade walking in and saying that to you. I love your response too

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  3. You are one of the funniest people I know! You have great stories!

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