Part three and hopefully the final... for all our sake!

We didn't have a choice but to call them again and so when they answered I just said "Do you speak English?" The man said "yes I do". I told him that there had been a terrible accident , some of the details and that I had someones phone but I didn't know who it belonged to. He told me that the phone belonged to the driver of the bus!! I was so happy to know that. He asked me immediatly if he had fallen asleep? He told me that he had drove all night and that it was only the second time driving the bus for the company. The company was located in Salt Lake City. I agreed to meet him in Salt lake or half way in between to give him the phone. When we hung up I thought that maybe I should hand it over to the police instead. I called the dispatcher and told her the situation and that she would have a UHP meet me. I had to stop in the only place around to change my clothes and get this feeling off of me. There was a gas station/ truck stop in Beaver that we went to. I felt desperate to change my clothes. The lady at the front desk was kind enough to give me a clean towel and wash off in the truckers bathrooms.I did not have the energy to search in my luggage for the items so I just bought a travel toothpaste and a toothbrush and scrubbed. My gums were raw from brushing them so hard. I wanted the cloud hanging over me to go away.I had to throw my shirt away because I didn't want to be reminded of it. I just wanted it gone. I bought the only shirt that they sold in the store. it said " I love BEAVER... I was not about to wear that, so I turned it inside out. I think that was one of the only times that I BURST OUT LAUGHING! While waiting for the officer a man whispered to me" do you know you have your shirt on the wrong way". I thanked him and said oh, yes I did it on purpose because I was not about to walk around with I heart Beaver on my shirt. I chuckled and he looked at me very strange like I had offended his town. He obviously didn't go to high school in the city and cleary didn't know the double meaning. I was not about to be the one to tell him. The officer came and I gave him the phone. Suddenly my legs and arms got so weak that I knew I couldn't drive the rest of the way home. The addrenalyne had stopped I'm guessing and I was physically and emotionally spent! Reality of what had just happened just set in.

We found a motel for the five of us and it was like a motel 1. Worst I have ever seen. Cigarette holes all in the sheets. Pillows without even a pillowcase. It was the bottom of the barrel for sure. My daughter and friend were so kind to make the best of it even though they were cringing also. Royann was willing to sleep on the gross old rollaway so that my daughter could be by me. We watched the news and it had said that 3 people had died including a 59 yr old man and that there was a child involved in the accident. I kept running through the scene in my mind, the placement of the victims and couldn't figure out how I had missed a child. It also devastated me that the only older man that I saw and was with were reporting that he died? Could he have been having a heart attack and that was why he was having arm pain on his left side? I felt somewhat responsible and I replayed how I should have done things in my head all night. I worried because I had told the head lady that it looked as if he had hurt his shoulder I had given false information. I couldn't sleep all night. I couldn't get my head to turn off and replaying what had happened. I took one Ambien but nothing, I took another half and it didn't even phase my brain. All I could do is sob. I have never felt like I wanted to beat my head against the wall so bad to get the thoughts to go away. Sweet little whitney would look up from her pillow every time I got up. She wouldn't say a word but I could see her watching me in the dark. I tried to reassure her that I was going to be fine. I just wanted it to go away. I could not account for one more victim they were saying was there or the little girl.
The next morning we watched the news again. It did bring some comfort to me knowing that it was not accurate what they had reported the night before. It cleared up a lot of questions that I had about the identity of these unknown faces. The older man did not die or suffer a heart attack but did have injuries and was taken to a Salt Lake hospital. The woman that I saw first in the street was 40 years old and not in her mid twenties like I had thought. She was traveling with her husband 38, he had died while inside the bus. He was found after I had left. The young man on the other side of the bus that had died was 20 yrs old and was traveling with his mother and father and sister 13. They survived the wreck and it was the little girl that was hanging upside down in the bus and was not ejected that we kept talking to. I was so far relieved to hear that the girl with the internal injuries was still alive and had been transported to the UofU hospital. The others were transported to all the major hospitals in Salt Lake.

The next morning we left for home and while driving I became violently sick. I pulled over to the side of the road and threw up like never before. I know it was my nerves probably! I ended up having to change the shirt on the side of the freeway. I didn't even care what people saw at that moment. I had to leave that shirt on the side of the road also because of gross reasons.I had lost my best two shirts and was left with only my "Beaver shirt". I had only brought two shirts because we were originally just staying overnight. I guess I should have packed more!

I can't ever imagine going through this ordeal without such support. My friends and family let me talk for days about it. I would either go on and on or I would shut right down and say nothing.I had to deal with it my own way and they allowed me to.I was consumed with everything I could get my hands on to read and watch how they all were doing. It bothered me a little more then it should have at times when the reporting of what happened was not accurate.

I could not get my mind off the people. The thought of them being here alone without family around or even a familiar face. I tried to go out to the Intermountain hospital to check on the newlywed man that I sat with last. They would not let me see him for privacy reasons. They said that the patients requested to be seen only by family and no one else. I understood that and left. The ladies at the desk also said that the Japanese media had already been there trying to get the story.

I put myself in the place of the families and it terrified me to think that if I was the one that received that call that my family was hurt what would I do. I thought about not having the resources to travel to a foreign country. Money, passport and no where to stay. I thought that maybe there was something I could do that would possibly ease the minds of the families. I did some major research to find all the newspapers in Japan that also translated in English. I wrote letters to the editors of the papers to please, if they could, let the families know that their loved ones were in the best hospitals and that they were in a very compassionate, loving place. I tried to let them know that at the accident, their family members did not suffer alone and that people really cared. Most of all... I wanted them to never wonder or worry about their son or daughter passing on without someone being with them. This was important to me. The very most important thing to me!I left my name and email address to be contacted if the families needed assistance or a place to stay.
I never heard anything back from the editor.

About a month later I received an email from an FBI agent asking me to come in and give a statement. I didn't even think we had the FBI here. Because it was an International thing it was being handled by them. I asked him how he even found me since I never stayed around to file a report. I found out the FBI definitly does their homework. He had traced the letter to the editor of the Japanese newspaper. They had my name from talking to the dispatcher and my email address from the letter that I had written. They thought that I was from the Las Vegas area. I never figured that part out..Wow, who knew!!! When I got there he asked me to write down everything I remembered and I asked him "everything" and he said "yes everything". I then asked if I could have more paper. He only gave me two sheets! I warned him I was big into details and he just laughed and said "that's okay". Three hours and a lot of paper later he now took me serious. It was after five and he was pacing... The secretary was waiting for me to leave too.I appologized but said "hey you said tell you "everything I remember. he said "yes I did". "Most people only write a paragraph or two so this is good" I had included several art drawings along with all the details. I might have even included what direction the air was blowing... just kidding I didn't.

Watching the news and reading the paper I soon learned of all of the names of the victims and the nurses name. I learned that the two girls were sisters but not twins like I thought. I was irritated a bit, with the opportunity one individual had to turn the story from a me story into a "we" story but chose not to. I would hope that I would have done it differently if it had been me forced into the spotlight. The facts were not right and the story was shallow. People are doing great things every day. What was missed in every article I read was that it was about people coming together. There is no "I" in the word "TEAM". I will always remember these people, always. I worry about them now with the earthquakes and Tsunami that is destroying their country.I wonder if they survived. I wonder if I will ever get to meet them again or if they will ever come back to the United States. I think about everyone that helped and then just left. I wish I knew their names or something about what brought them past mile marked 66 that night. I wish I knew anything!

You can't forget this kind of thing or the people involved. We all were there, I was not alone. We were all connected for one hour with the same goal. To help someone, somebody's mother, somebody's father, sister, brother, somebody's son and somebody's daughter to LIVE! To live and survive and to know that their life was important to us. Someone that they never met and probably will never meet again has prayed for them, cried for them and mourned the loss of those we could not save. The world can be cruel at times and people can hate but for that night everyone came together and worked like a team. We were a team! The semi driver, the cowboy guy, the people who offered us the mask and gloves, the nurse Christy Christensen who was 8 months pregnant at the time, The dispatcher who wouldn't leave me when I needed the support, the tall man, the lady EMT that worked her amazing magic, the firemen, the UHP, the ambulance driver that came in on her day off because she knew she needed to help, my family, my sweet friend and her daughters that never left my side and listened to me cry for days, my friends and co workers at home, the lady at the truck stop that gave me a clean towel and let me use the "truckers only facilities". Our health guy "Mark" at Davis School District Headstart for putting up with my lame jokes about making out with "a dummy" for the last 11 years. Without that training I would have never known what to do to offer any assistance. It was also all the medical professionals that do this night and day. The brave Doctor and 2 or three nurses in Cedar City that under their breath might have said " we can't handle this many and with such severe injuries by ourselves" but they did!!! It wasn't the work of only one person as the media makes it sound like. It was the work of so many unsung hero's stopping what they were doing and thinking of others because "it was the right thing to do". It's about my daughter Amber missing her husband and her little 2 year old son and just wanting to get home. Her supporting me when I pulled to the side of the road and jumped out of the car saying " I have to stop and help" and her saying " you do what you have to do mom". Then patiently, fearfully waiting to pick up the pieces when I returned broken.

All sacrifices on all different levels for someone we have never met. Because it is the "CHRISTLIKE" thing to do and because we are capable of being loving and compassionate to others in need.


So when your spouse or child or grandchild asks you to put on your seatbelt and your remark is something like I'll be fine or we all have to die sooner or later. It's not about you, it's about all the people that might stop to help. "You" know who you are"!